The Za Lord stood, looking omnious and stern as he surveyed the scene before him.
Well, I was trying at least. The scene before me was some weird combination of ridiculous and disturbing, which, because I am the type of person I am, made me want to laugh hysterically. I was doing my best to hold it in.
There were wyldfae on a sugar high littered around my kitchen. Lounging, dancing, screaming, swirling. One was unconcious, having wrapped herself up in a Dunkin' Donuts napkin and collapsing. Another was spinning in mad circles, like a dog chasing its tail. Three more were currently adding the exclamation mark to the message 'Long Live the Za Lord' in jelly on my wall. Toot-Toot stood before me to answer for his crimes, looking contrite, but also unable to keep still, and so he was doing a sort of version of the Time Warp on my counter. Minus the pelvic thrusts, thankfully.
"Wesawtheboxanditlookedlikeaboxsoweopeneditandinsideweremanytinypizzas!" he reported, his words falling out of his mouth in a sugar rush. "WethoughttheywerefortheArmyandprovidedbytheZaLordsoweconsumedthemasrations. Weapologizeforanyinconvenience." He took a jump to the left and added. "Itwasthemostamazingthingever!"
I supposed something like a Boston Cream might resemble a small pizza to a wyldfae. I couldn't get mad. I didn't have time. I had a Lornak coming in fifteen minutes and no donuts to bargain with.
"Here's the deal," I said. "General, I need you to clean up the mess. Furthermore, I need to provide alternate, er, pizzas, for a guest. I will give you the address. I need them forthwith. Comply, and I may be merciful."
Toot-Toot did a snappy salute, and gathered up a group of semi-functional faeries to do the work.
"Wesavedyouone," he said, pushing over a powered munchkin.
"Thanks," I said.
I should probably have kept it to bargain with the Lornak in case of emergency. But what the hell, the Za Lord needs sustenance too. I popped in my mouth, and prepared for battle.
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The Za Lord stood, looking omnious and stern as he surveyed the scene before him.
Well, I was trying at least. The scene before me was some weird combination of ridiculous and disturbing, which, because I am the type of person I am, made me want to laugh hysterically. I was doing my best to hold it in.
There were wyldfae on a sugar high littered around my kitchen. Lounging, dancing, screaming, swirling. One was unconcious, having wrapped herself up in a Dunkin' Donuts napkin and collapsing. Another was spinning in mad circles, like a dog chasing its tail. Three more were currently adding the exclamation mark to the message 'Long Live the Za Lord' in jelly on my wall. Toot-Toot stood before me to answer for his crimes, looking contrite, but also unable to keep still, and so he was doing a sort of version of the Time Warp on my counter. Minus the pelvic thrusts, thankfully.
"Wesawtheboxanditlookedlikeaboxsoweopeneditandinsideweremanytinypizzas!" he reported, his words falling out of his mouth in a sugar rush. "WethoughttheywerefortheArmyandprovidedbytheZaLordsoweconsumedthemasrations. Weapologizeforanyinconvenience." He took a jump to the left and added. "Itwasthemostamazingthingever!"
I supposed something like a Boston Cream might resemble a small pizza to a wyldfae. I couldn't get mad. I didn't have time. I had a Lornak coming in fifteen minutes and no donuts to bargain with.
"Here's the deal," I said. "General, I need you to clean up the mess. Furthermore, I need to provide alternate, er, pizzas, for a guest. I will give you the address. I need them forthwith. Comply, and I may be merciful."
Toot-Toot did a snappy salute, and gathered up a group of semi-functional faeries to do the work.
"Wesavedyouone," he said, pushing over a powered munchkin.
"Thanks," I said.
I should probably have kept it to bargain with the Lornak in case of emergency. But what the hell, the Za Lord needs sustenance too. I popped in my mouth, and prepared for battle.