My ex lived with his dad and stepmum when I met him. both his dad and his stepmum had been widowed rather than ending up single via the separation/ divorce route so the situation isn't the same. He never regarded his stepmum in the same light as his mum as he lost his mum in his early teens and his dad married again in his late teens.
Having said that, he gets on great with his stepmum and refers to her by her name (as did I when we were together and so does his current partner) and she was definitely a mother figure as my ex has a half sister as well as a stepbrother.
The ex always talked about his 'dad and Maura' I don't recall her ever being referred to as mum or stepmum except in explaining who she was to people who didn't know - and sometimes then he'd just say, "she's J and P's mum"
Problems arose with the extended family as my ex's mum had been the youngest of about 9 kids. About half of her brothers/sisters wouldn't speak to his stepmum if they didn't have to, which as they lived in quite a close knit suburban community caused quite a bit of friction. Organising the seating plan for our wedding wasn't fun, especially when you consider that I have a very small family.
I was never able to call the ex's dad by his name to his face for some reason - he was always referred to as P's dad or your dad and when speaking to him, I never ever used his name. Not bad going considering he was my father in law for 18 years!
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Having said that, he gets on great with his stepmum and refers to her by her name (as did I when we were together and so does his current partner) and she was definitely a mother figure as my ex has a half sister as well as a stepbrother.
The ex always talked about his 'dad and Maura' I don't recall her ever being referred to as mum or stepmum except in explaining who she was to people who didn't know - and sometimes then he'd just say, "she's J and P's mum"
Problems arose with the extended family as my ex's mum had been the youngest of about 9 kids. About half of her brothers/sisters wouldn't speak to his stepmum if they didn't have to, which as they lived in quite a close knit suburban community caused quite a bit of friction. Organising the seating plan for our wedding wasn't fun, especially when you consider that I have a very small family.
I was never able to call the ex's dad by his name to his face for some reason - he was always referred to as P's dad or your dad and when speaking to him, I never ever used his name. Not bad going considering he was my father in law for 18 years!