Meme of the drabblish variety

[awanderingbard]

Taken from donutsweeper with her modifications intact and mine added:

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request a drabble or ficlet, or something of a pairing/character of their choosing from me (within reason, and a word prompt or suggestion along those lines would be nice). In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. (You really don't have to do this though, unless you want.)

You know what I write and don't write for the most part, so go forth and request. I need to get my word faerie on the treadmill or something. She's slowing down.

Comments

[joonscribble.livejournal.com]

Prompts! Take as many or as little as you wish.

Kirmani, family, borders

JARVIS, Windows Vista

The Doctor, holidays, cuisine

Torchwood, giving directions

Ta-da!

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Standard Operating Procedure

Jarvis, while unable to actually experience concern for anyone, worried about Tony Stark. He was programmed to do so. He lived for it, so to speak. He kept a watchful eye on Stark, both at home and in his Iron Man suit and was quick to warn Stark should he attempt anything too dangerous.

Jarvis had programmed his own operating procedure in the face of imminent danger. It went as follows:

Step One: Warn Mr. Stark that what he is about to do is dangerous.
(87.6% of the time, step one resulted in failure.)

Step Two: Warn Mr. Stark that what he is about to do is dangerous, again.
(Oddly enough, this further warning was even less successful than the first. It only worked 5.28% of the time.)

Step Three: Provide statistics as to the level and probability of injuries likely to be incurred.
(In 51% of cases, this was effective. The probability of success increased if injuries were likely to affect the face and/or pelvic region.)

Step Four: Call Ms. Potts.
(Step Four was 100% effective.)

Today had required Step Four and Ms. Potts vocal signature was no longer detected in the workshop, which meant she must have succeeded in her task and left. This was further confirmed by Mr. Stark’s loud talking and pointing to the screen nearest to him.

“Jarvis, if you tattle on me to Pepper one more time, I swear to God I will install Vista on your ass!” Mr. Stark said.

Though he was incapable of actual concern, at such a terrible threat, Jarvis quickly reprogrammed the operating procedure, even as he explained to Mr. Stark that he, in fact, had no ass to be installed on.

Re: Ta-da!

[joonscribble.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHA!!! Oh, excellence!

Thank you so much for writing this! I somehow really clearly hear Paul Bettany's voice going, "Yes, sir. Although may I point out that I have no ass to be installed on?"