Firefly: Cliffhanger

[awanderingbard]

Title: Cliffhanger
Author: awanderingbard
Summary: Mal and Jayne have had a long day.
Rating: PG
Length: 681 words
Characters: Mal and Jayne, Zoe and Kaylee briefly at the end
Pairing: None
Spoilers/Timeline: Brief mention of 'War Stories'
Author's Note: Done for angiepen who requested Mal and Jayne, bad day. My first (posted) Firefly story. :D



"I swear on everythin' that is sacred, Jayne, if you let go of me and I die, I am going to kill you dead," Malcolm Reynolds hissed.

"How you gonna kill me if yer dead?" Jayne wondered, through gritted teeth.

"I will put myself in one of River's crazy hallucinations and get her to do it," Mal decided.

Jayne's eyes widened. "I ain't lettin' go, Mal."

"Good."

Mal looked down and wished he hadn't. The drop below the cliff he was dangling off of was mind-numbing. He reckoned that he wouldn't be alive for long once he hit the bottom of the canyon, but those few moments would be a hell he did not want to travel through. He lifted his eyes upwards, but the view wasn't any prettier. Just Jayne, red in the face with the effort of holding Mal in defiance of the forces of gravity.

If one of Jayne's arms wasn't broken, he probably could have lifted Mal up enough for Mal to get some footing. If the job had gone smoothly, Jayne's arm wouldn't have been broken. If Badger had given them the right coordinates, the job wouldn't have gone south. If Mal had been smart, he never would have let himself do a job for Badger. As it was, Mal wasn't, Badger didn't, the job hadn't, Jayne couldn't and Mal was dangling off a cliff in the middle of nowhere, quietly contemplating all this.

"How long 'fore Serenity's due to pick us up?" Jayne asked.

"'Bout an hour," Mal replied, evenly.

"I gotta hold you here for an hour?" Jayne complained.

"River's crazy hallucinations," Mal said, warningly.

"I know, I know. I ain't sayin' I ain't gonna hold you for an hour. Just verifyin' that's the time," Jayne said, quickly.

"That's the time."

"Made!"

"Yep."

Several minutes past. Mal swung, Jayne grunted, the sun beat down and the sand blew about. For a life or death situation, it was damn boring. More minutes past. Mal was starting to feel like his feet had cement weights on them and his arm was being stretched out by the second.

"Since we're here," Jayne said, breaking the long silence. "An' we ain't goin' nowhere, I 'bin meaning to talk to you 'bout my cut..."

Mal glared up at him. "Just what 'bout yer cut needs discussin'?"

"I think I should be gettin' a bigger one, s'all."

"We split even, ya know that."

"That's the thing, Mal. I'm thinkin' I do lot more for the jobs then the Doc does, but he gets the same as me."

"Have you ever reattached my ear, Jayne?"

"...well, no."

"Ever pulled a bullet outta somebody?"

"Yeah, act - "

"With proper medical equipment?"

Jayne frowned. "No."

"When Serenity gets here and pulls me up, think yer arm is gonna fix itself?"

"I could maybe..." Jayne trailed off at Mal's look. "Awrite, awrite. We need the doc. I was jus' sayin'..."

"If you think yer talents are bein' under'preciated, Jayne," Mal said. "Right now, I think yer damn special."

"Thanks, Mal."

"Yep."

More silence. Mal's arm was starting to go numb. He winced as he tried to get a better grip on Jayne's hand. They were both getting sweaty from the heat.

"Hear that?" Jayne said, suddenly. He twisted around a little onto his back. "Sounds like..."

"My boat!" Mal agreed.

Fifteen minutes later, the ramp to Serenity lowered and his crew came running out. Zoe's face peeked over to the cliff to look down at him.

"Y'okay, sir?" She asked.

"Wô hâo," Mal replied. "Just peachy."

Kaylee's face appeared beside Zoe's, eyes widened. "Wow, capt'n. What happened?"

"The usual," Mal answered. Kaylee nodded in understanding. "...Ya wanna help get me up?"

"Oh!" Kaylee nodded. She held out a hand. "Stay there, capt'n. I'll get some rope."

Kaylee disappeared and Zoe reached down to get Mal's other hand.

"I don't suppose we got paid, then, sir?" She asked.

"Oh, we did," Mal said. "Money's at the bottom of the canyon, if you got an urge to do some climbin'." He shifted his weight a little to ease off Jayne. "So, how was yer day?"

"Better then yours."

"Wouldn't be hard. Listen, next time I wanna take a job from Badger, just throw me off the cliff beforehand. Save me a lotta trouble."

"Will do, sir."

Comments

[angiepen.livejournal.com]

Oh, ROFL! That was great, thanks so much! :D

That was beautifully done. I didn't have to know what the job was about or exactly how they got into the position they were in. Heck, I didn't even realize Mal was hanging onto one of Jayne's hands until near the end; up to that point I was imagining him hanging on around his waist or something, with Jayne hanging onto the cliff with his good arm. But whatever -- none of that mattered because the atmosphere, the mood, the "Same shit, different day, goddammit" kind of feeling was set up just perfectly. It's true to the show and true to those two guys, both them being in that sort of situation and how they're handling it, all stoic-like. :D Even Jayne trying to negotiate a salary hike while dangling his captain over a canyon was perfectly in character, as was the way Mal handled it and the way Jayne backed off after a couple of lame tries to defend his assertion that he was more valuable than Simon. [snicker]

Again, great job and thanks. :D

Angie

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Yay! I'm very glad you liked it. Thanks for rec'ing it too. Makes me feel all special. :D

[angiepen.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome. There aren't enough good humor fics out there, especially this kind of subtle, non-slapsticky humor, and I was more than happy to chase a few people in your direction. :D

Angie

[illuminated-sin.livejournal.com]

Well done! I loved it. :D You said a lot in a small amount of space. Characterizations were great; voices were right, all of it fit. I could totally see it happening in an episode of Firefly. XD Very nice!

-- Bodhi

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

That is fantastic Mal-voice, and *just* the sort of situation they'd get themselves into, right down to Kaylee and Zoe's calm acceptance of the whole thing.

"River's crazy hallucinations," Mal said, warningly.

LOL! That whole first bit of conversation cracked me up, and I love Jayne's reaction. So very in-character, all of it.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly, kiddo! :D

[anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com]

This was really funny! I love it when writers go for the humor; it doesn't seem to happen much so I always appreciate it when it does.

"Ever pulled a bullet outta somebody?"

"Yeah, act - "

"With proper medical equipment?"

Bwahaha! You should post your other fics too, this was very well done. *g*

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

My other fics need to be finished first, but it's nice to know that I'm heading in the right direction with my tone. Thank you for reading and commenting!

[razycrandomgirl.livejournal.com]

nice job.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[joyfulfeather.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, that's great. Very funny, very typically them.

"I will put myself in one of River's crazy hallucinations and get her to do it," Mal decided.

Jayne's eyes widened. "I ain't lettin' go, Mal."

Priceless! Great job. :)

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[teh-no.livejournal.com]

Heh. Loved it. Those two guys and Jayne picking then to complain about his pay... I could see this as the denouncement of a buddy-movie episode that was never filmed, right before all the Mal/Jayne shippers went off to type out their new plotbunnies.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

I was thinking there would be probably be a few Mal/Jayne shippers who'd enjoy the 'I ain't lettin' go' parts as I was writing it. :D Thanks for the lovely comment!

[baygul.livejournal.com]

That was awesome. Nice work!

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sileya.livejournal.com]

angiepen sent me over - this is GREAT! I so miss Firefly.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Gah, me too. :( Thanks for reading and commenting! :-)

[ceslas.livejournal.com]

If one of Jayne's arms wasn't broken, he probably could have lifted Mal up enough for Mal to get some footing. If the job had gone smoothly, Jayne's arm wouldn't have been broken. If Badger had given them the right coordinates, the job wouldn't have gone south. If Mal had been smart, he never would have let himself do a job for Badger. As it was, Mal wasn't, Badger didn't, the job hadn't, Jayne couldn't and Mal was dangling off a cliff in the middle of nowhere, quietly contemplating all this.

That and this was fabulous! I love how they stay true to character, hanging there just doing their usual thing.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! :D

[dizilla.livejournal.com]

*hee* I love it! Definitely feels IC for all of them, especially Jayne trying to get a raise. XD Well done. =D

[janeddoe.livejournal.com]

ha! that was great! one of the best true-to-Joss writing styles i've read.

my fav: "As it was, Mal wasn't, Badger didn't, the job hadn't, Jayne couldn't and Mal was dangling off a cliff in the middle of nowhere, quietly contemplating all this."

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

Trust River to be an effective threat-and-deterant. :)

a most enjoyable shiny romp through the verse. thank you for sharing this.

[leepixie.livejournal.com]

lmao. This was fantastic!

Oh, we did," Mal said. "Money's at the bottom of the canyon, if you got an urge to do some climbin'." He shifted his weight a little to ease off Jayne. "So, how was yer day?"

"Better then yours."

"Wouldn't be hard. Listen, next time I wanna take a job from Badger, just throw me off the cliff beforehand. Save me a lotta trouble."

"Will do, sir."

Such great humour. I can't wait to read more of your stuff. :-D

[jadesfire.livejournal.com]

I'm working on the basis that no story is too old for a comment...

I've just got into Firefly and someone recced this story to me, and I'm so glad they did! This is brilliant - I could really see the whole thing, and the dialogue sounded absolutely perfect. And the ending made me laugh out loud.

Much enjoyed, thanks.