Crack!Fic: The Movie

I watched this incredibly bad movie on TV last night, one of those ones that are so bad they're sort of good. It starred Arnold Vosloo, JR Bourne (hi Martouf!), Steve Bacic (hi Camulus!) and a few other, obviously Canadian actors. It was called Odysseus and The Island of the Mists and was, ostensibly, the story of the Odyssey, but not really. The dialogue was awful. It was old school 'let us talk like the Greeks did' crap with a lot of 'as Zeus as my witness' and 'to arms!'. It was so bad, when one of the characters was volunteering to stay back and get killed, I actually laughed out loud.

Also, I'm fairly sure there were no vampires in the Odyssey. I mean, I'm not any great Homer scholar or anything, but I think I would remember vampires.