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Hello there! The world continues to be a frustrating and baffling place, but I am trying to focus on making my own small part of it better, and I have had some triumphs lately, so I documenting them for posterity.
I've been on a voyage of self-discovery re: neurodivergence, and the more I read, the more it seems likely I am not neurotypical. My childhood psychiatrist labelled me as a 'highly sensitive person', which from what I've read, is now considered to be basically 'girl autism' or 'autism without social impairment', and that does seem to fit. I'm still deciding if I want to pursue a formal diagnosis, which will likely be a very long process given the state of Ontario healthcare, but in the meantime, I've been trying to see if I can help myself out some.
The first thing I have done is get some Loop earplugs. I am and have always been very easily overwhelmed in noisy environments, even as a baby, according to my mum. My dad has severe hearing loss and won't wear his hearing aids (likely due to undiagnosed ADHD-related reasons), so the house has gotten kind of noisy with the volume at which he watches television and I didn't realize that neurotypical people can filter out background noise, but I cannot. I decided to invest in a pair of Loop earplugs, which I had read good things about being able to dampen noise while still allowing you to have a conversation with someone, and I cannot tell you the difference these have made in my life. This is not an advertisement; these things are expensive, probably far more than they need to be, but everyone in Ontario got $200 from the government last month because of some budget surplus thing, and so I decided to use some of the unexpected money to splurge. I wear them from about 5PM to 7PM every night, when the house is at its noisiest and most chaotic, and I did not realize how, like fight or flight I had been. I can do things during that time now without being grumpy or agitated. I have more executive function because I'm not overwhelmed by noise. I'm less tired because I'm not using all my spoons trying not to be agitated. They've also really helped going grocery shopping, which is another sensorially heavy activity. I can do that and not be exhausted for the rest of the day. 10/10 recommend if you have similar issues and can afford the price tag. I got the Engage 2 Plus, and they do the job really well.
With my new found executive function, I've been embarking upon trying to organize the chaos of the household which has evolved from mum being unwell for the last decade and not able to Supermum her way through life and hold the gate against the onslaught of her family of (also chronically ill) wildfae running rampant about the place. I've working on organization and systems that make it easy for things to have places and those places to be found without having to engage in too much execution function, and it is going well. Our front hall looks about 80% better, and it's not a lot, but it's a start.
And finally, I have been able to read again, which I haven't done in years. I just did not have the spoons to engage in a narrative, but I've been reading some light romance novels lately and really enjoying them. Ali Hazelwood's books are super fun (but a little spicy on the sex scenes, very fanfiction-esque, so be warned if that's not your jam) and I've also started reading the Lovelight Farms series by BK Borisson, which are super cute, though again, somewhat spicy in the sex scenes. I also tried to read a Pride and Prejudice fanfiction novel I found at a thrift store, but I have never read anything that read more like fanfiction and had to stop. No one needs to be having as much sex as Darcy and Elizabeth are having in this book. It's too bad, since the premise is good and she did a great job with developing the minor characters in the books and brought in interesting OCS and clearly did a lot of research about the time period, but 90% of this book is just the Darcys having sex and talking about how much they love each other and even I, with my years of fanfiction experience, could not sustain that for chapters on end.
So that's that! I hope you all are managing in this very stupid world we live in, and are trying to find some execution function for yourselves. I wish you well in your endeavours.
I've been on a voyage of self-discovery re: neurodivergence, and the more I read, the more it seems likely I am not neurotypical. My childhood psychiatrist labelled me as a 'highly sensitive person', which from what I've read, is now considered to be basically 'girl autism' or 'autism without social impairment', and that does seem to fit. I'm still deciding if I want to pursue a formal diagnosis, which will likely be a very long process given the state of Ontario healthcare, but in the meantime, I've been trying to see if I can help myself out some.
The first thing I have done is get some Loop earplugs. I am and have always been very easily overwhelmed in noisy environments, even as a baby, according to my mum. My dad has severe hearing loss and won't wear his hearing aids (likely due to undiagnosed ADHD-related reasons), so the house has gotten kind of noisy with the volume at which he watches television and I didn't realize that neurotypical people can filter out background noise, but I cannot. I decided to invest in a pair of Loop earplugs, which I had read good things about being able to dampen noise while still allowing you to have a conversation with someone, and I cannot tell you the difference these have made in my life. This is not an advertisement; these things are expensive, probably far more than they need to be, but everyone in Ontario got $200 from the government last month because of some budget surplus thing, and so I decided to use some of the unexpected money to splurge. I wear them from about 5PM to 7PM every night, when the house is at its noisiest and most chaotic, and I did not realize how, like fight or flight I had been. I can do things during that time now without being grumpy or agitated. I have more executive function because I'm not overwhelmed by noise. I'm less tired because I'm not using all my spoons trying not to be agitated. They've also really helped going grocery shopping, which is another sensorially heavy activity. I can do that and not be exhausted for the rest of the day. 10/10 recommend if you have similar issues and can afford the price tag. I got the Engage 2 Plus, and they do the job really well.
With my new found executive function, I've been embarking upon trying to organize the chaos of the household which has evolved from mum being unwell for the last decade and not able to Supermum her way through life and hold the gate against the onslaught of her family of (also chronically ill) wildfae running rampant about the place. I've working on organization and systems that make it easy for things to have places and those places to be found without having to engage in too much execution function, and it is going well. Our front hall looks about 80% better, and it's not a lot, but it's a start.
And finally, I have been able to read again, which I haven't done in years. I just did not have the spoons to engage in a narrative, but I've been reading some light romance novels lately and really enjoying them. Ali Hazelwood's books are super fun (but a little spicy on the sex scenes, very fanfiction-esque, so be warned if that's not your jam) and I've also started reading the Lovelight Farms series by BK Borisson, which are super cute, though again, somewhat spicy in the sex scenes. I also tried to read a Pride and Prejudice fanfiction novel I found at a thrift store, but I have never read anything that read more like fanfiction and had to stop. No one needs to be having as much sex as Darcy and Elizabeth are having in this book. It's too bad, since the premise is good and she did a great job with developing the minor characters in the books and brought in interesting OCS and clearly did a lot of research about the time period, but 90% of this book is just the Darcys having sex and talking about how much they love each other and even I, with my years of fanfiction experience, could not sustain that for chapters on end.
So that's that! I hope you all are managing in this very stupid world we live in, and are trying to find some execution function for yourselves. I wish you well in your endeavours.
