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awanderingbardI am returned! We had a lovely week at the cottage. There was much napping in king-sized beds, jigsaw puzzling, Scrabbling and sunning on the patio. It was also educational:
1. Satellite TV has approximately 4 gazillion channels on it. Of these four gazillion channels, 75% are Major League Baseball, 50% are porno movies, 50% are porno movies in French, and 1% are channels you actually watch. .5% of that 1% are channels you actually watch, but in French. Note: My math may be slightly off.
2. When searching for a show you would like to watch, allow yourself a good five minutes to locate it on the guide, as searching through 4 gazillion channels is daunting.
3. Once you have finally found the show you want to watch (which is likely only playing on one channel, despite the fact that on regular cable, it would be playing on at least two), press enter to go to it.
4. This channel will likely be unavailable due to weak signals/poor weather/its visiting relatives in Antarctica.
5. Wait for channel to reconnect.
6. Watch show.
7. Show will likely be interrupted at a crucial moment, either through lost signals or a strange phenomenon where one show is cut off to show another show.
8. Yell at TV.
9. Repeat as needed.
So, yeah. I appreciate getting satellite TV in the middle of nowhere, but I will never, ever get it for myself. No matter how much fun it is to watch Stargate in Described Video ("Rodney looks up in horror!")
I have three pages of f-list entries, so I will do my best to catch up on them soon.
1. Satellite TV has approximately 4 gazillion channels on it. Of these four gazillion channels, 75% are Major League Baseball, 50% are porno movies, 50% are porno movies in French, and 1% are channels you actually watch. .5% of that 1% are channels you actually watch, but in French. Note: My math may be slightly off.
2. When searching for a show you would like to watch, allow yourself a good five minutes to locate it on the guide, as searching through 4 gazillion channels is daunting.
3. Once you have finally found the show you want to watch (which is likely only playing on one channel, despite the fact that on regular cable, it would be playing on at least two), press enter to go to it.
4. This channel will likely be unavailable due to weak signals/poor weather/its visiting relatives in Antarctica.
5. Wait for channel to reconnect.
6. Watch show.
7. Show will likely be interrupted at a crucial moment, either through lost signals or a strange phenomenon where one show is cut off to show another show.
8. Yell at TV.
9. Repeat as needed.
So, yeah. I appreciate getting satellite TV in the middle of nowhere, but I will never, ever get it for myself. No matter how much fun it is to watch Stargate in Described Video ("Rodney looks up in horror!")
I have three pages of f-list entries, so I will do my best to catch up on them soon.
