Merry Christmas!
Dec. 25th, 2025 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
awanderingbardMerry Christmas! I hope you had/are having a joyous one if you celebrate, and if you celebrate another holiday around this time of year, I hope that one was/will be lovely, too, and if you celebrate nothing, I hope you are enjoying some chill vibes.
We did our Christmas last night, as is traditional in the Bard family. Last year, on the 23rd, my mom fell and my brother's cat went into diabetic shock, so we were grateful this year both human and animal were well. Though, it's been a rough go. My dad is still in recovery mode. Mum and I both had horrible reactions to our flu/COVID boosters. Mum fainted getting out of bed and was so weak (fever of nearly 39c/102f) she needed help getting up off the floor. Thankfully, she did not further hurt herself. I had the worst rigors I've had since I was a child. My teeth were chattering so bad, I had to put my mouth guard in because I was afraid of my fillings getting damaged. Both of us were out for five or six days afterwards. Dad was fine, oddly. Usually he's the one who gets the high fever and starts getting weird. No reaction at all for him this time but a sore arm.
Such shenanigans put us beyond on our Christmas readying, so we ended up going to my brother and SIL's place instead of them coming here. It was still lovely and we had a wonderful time. I did some awesome Christmas baking this year. The best I think I've ever achieved. We also went to my SIL's family Christmas gathering earlier this month, which is always a good time. I think it's sweet they include us.
This past year has been one of discovery for me. I don't have any formal diagnosis of neurodivergence, and don't plan to pursue one because I don't think it will be worth what I have to put myself through to get one, but operating under the assumption of AuDHD makes sense to me, and I'm still figuring how to navigate that. I understand why I struggle with certain things, but I'm still working on what to do with that information. It's been a kind of stages of grief thing. It's weird at almost 40 to find out that you've been running on one leg when most people have two. It explains why you're sometimes slower, but at the time, you also understand you'll always be slower. In the long run, I think I'll be happier. I already am, being able to unmask and recognize when I feel overstimulated and need to take a breath. I'm proud of myself for coping all these years before I understood my brain is wired differently, but I'm exhausted now I'm letting myself not cope. There's a period of time of just needing to let myself feel what I feel and not hide from it. I'm hoping to go into 2026 with a better sense of me.
And I've been writing so much! I wrote a whole ten chapter...I don't know if it's a fic if it's your own original characters and world, but story, I guess. It's useless right now, because it's so far into the future of the narrative that if I ever do post things, I need to write so much before it make it make sense, but I'm going back now with all the knowledge of the characters and who they are to help me fill in those spots better. It's been a lot of fun, and even if it's just for me in the end, it's a good time.
Anyway, as always, it's been lovely to have you folks around. I hope I get to keep talking to you in the new year. I'm going to try to do better about reading other people's entries. I got out of the habit when LJ died down.
Have a safe and prosperous New Year and I'll talk to you soon!
We did our Christmas last night, as is traditional in the Bard family. Last year, on the 23rd, my mom fell and my brother's cat went into diabetic shock, so we were grateful this year both human and animal were well. Though, it's been a rough go. My dad is still in recovery mode. Mum and I both had horrible reactions to our flu/COVID boosters. Mum fainted getting out of bed and was so weak (fever of nearly 39c/102f) she needed help getting up off the floor. Thankfully, she did not further hurt herself. I had the worst rigors I've had since I was a child. My teeth were chattering so bad, I had to put my mouth guard in because I was afraid of my fillings getting damaged. Both of us were out for five or six days afterwards. Dad was fine, oddly. Usually he's the one who gets the high fever and starts getting weird. No reaction at all for him this time but a sore arm.
Such shenanigans put us beyond on our Christmas readying, so we ended up going to my brother and SIL's place instead of them coming here. It was still lovely and we had a wonderful time. I did some awesome Christmas baking this year. The best I think I've ever achieved. We also went to my SIL's family Christmas gathering earlier this month, which is always a good time. I think it's sweet they include us.
This past year has been one of discovery for me. I don't have any formal diagnosis of neurodivergence, and don't plan to pursue one because I don't think it will be worth what I have to put myself through to get one, but operating under the assumption of AuDHD makes sense to me, and I'm still figuring how to navigate that. I understand why I struggle with certain things, but I'm still working on what to do with that information. It's been a kind of stages of grief thing. It's weird at almost 40 to find out that you've been running on one leg when most people have two. It explains why you're sometimes slower, but at the time, you also understand you'll always be slower. In the long run, I think I'll be happier. I already am, being able to unmask and recognize when I feel overstimulated and need to take a breath. I'm proud of myself for coping all these years before I understood my brain is wired differently, but I'm exhausted now I'm letting myself not cope. There's a period of time of just needing to let myself feel what I feel and not hide from it. I'm hoping to go into 2026 with a better sense of me.
And I've been writing so much! I wrote a whole ten chapter...I don't know if it's a fic if it's your own original characters and world, but story, I guess. It's useless right now, because it's so far into the future of the narrative that if I ever do post things, I need to write so much before it make it make sense, but I'm going back now with all the knowledge of the characters and who they are to help me fill in those spots better. It's been a lot of fun, and even if it's just for me in the end, it's a good time.
Anyway, as always, it's been lovely to have you folks around. I hope I get to keep talking to you in the new year. I'm going to try to do better about reading other people's entries. I got out of the habit when LJ died down.
Have a safe and prosperous New Year and I'll talk to you soon!
