Dresden Files: Nightmares

[awanderingbard]

Title: Nightmares
Author: awanderingbard
Rating: PG
Length: 415 words
Book or TV verse:TV
Characters: Bob, Harry (briefly)
Summary: The inside of your mind is the scariest place of all.
Author's Notes: Done for _medley_, who asked for Bob, regret. It ended up being more angst than regret, but I think it all amounts to the same thing in the end.



Ghosts didn't dream. Or, at least, Hrothbert of Bainbridge had never dreamed during his existence as a ghost. That didn't mean that he didn't have nightmares, though. Living, awake nightmares. They tended to happen when he was in his skull, which was the intent of the curse. To put him face to face with his own mind for all eternity. He didn't think that Harry knew exactly how bad it got in there, when he banished him to it. Previous owners, Harry's uncle included, knew however. They used it to punish him.

The worst nightmares were about Winnifred, of course. They were the worst because they weren't nightmares invented by his mind, they were actual events he was reliving. Bob had an excellent memory, but after several hundred years some things started to fade. Winnifred never did. He could remember everything about her. Her hair, her voice, her laugh. He remembered the day she died. He remembered how fast he ran up the stone stairs to reach her. How much blood there was on her dress. How scared she looked before her eyes glazed over. He remembered that burning, overwhelming anger he felt. How easy it was to use that anger and transfer it into power. Seductive, addictive, terrifying power.

What he remembered the most, though, the thing that would never leave him, was that final look on her face after he brought her back the last time. The exhaustion that was there, the look that was asking him just to let her go. It was that look that finally brought him down from his high. In that moment, the whole world closed in on him in brilliant clarity and the guilt was utterly unbearable. The regret from that moment burned, every time he was trapped in his mind. That's when he usually forced himself out, if he could. When he started to calculate and draw in the air, turning his thoughts to pure academics. No more feelings, no more humanity, no more regret. Until he was faced with himself again.

"Mornin' Bob," Harry mumbled, opening the door to the lab. He ran a hand through his messed up hair and blinked with bleary eyes that either had just woken up or never been to bed.

"Good morning," Bob returned.

Harry squinted at the symbols in the air. "You plotting world domination again?"

"No, just a simple spell I'm working on," Bob said, with a slight smile.

Harry nodded. "I need your help. We have a case."

Bob's favourite words. "I'm all ears."

Comments

Interesting

[ksl2025.livejournal.com]

Would not have thought that part of Bob's curse was really confronting himself and his own motives. Or the consequences of his actions. But it totally makes sense that it would be.

And I like that Harry sending Bob to his skull is clearly not an aspect of deliberate malice on his part. And that in his own way, he gives Bob direction, new focus. Very nice.

[ramkat.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Poor Bob, I'd never thought of his life like that. Loved the ending. So Harry, so Bob. I could see them both having that conversation and Harry not even realising how much he means to Bob.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, poor Bob. Now, every time I see a scene where Bob gets sent to his skull, I'm going to think of this and be all put out with Harry. Which isn't fair, but what can you do? :) Seriously, though, this is painful and all too plausible and very, very well done.

[awanderingbard.livejournal.com]

Oh noes! I don't want you to be mad at Harry. He doesn't know. :p And you can blame yourself for making me think about all this. lol. I'm glad you like it!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_medley_/]

Heh--I congratulate myself for making you think about this, actually. *vbg* And Harry's too much of a sweetheart for me to be mad at him for long.

[lifeinsomniac.livejournal.com]

It's kind of amazing how this fic made me wince and aw! at the same time. You've done a great job of illustrating the torture of Bob's curse in a very short piece of writing. Well done!

The descriptions of Winnifred were particularly affecting.

aw

[tigerlily0.livejournal.com]

Aw, poor Bob. At least he gets a reprieve with Harry.

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

One of these days, he *will* be plotting world domination, I bet. :D
(on the other hand, given that this is Bob, how simple is "simple"?)

excellent story; I'm pleased to have read it.